Leave man, she's definitely doing some shady stuff. No answer without the friend for 6 hours? 2 and a half hour drive and different clothes? She's just Embarrassing you. You can be happier alone knowing no one is doing you dirty.

Leave her. If she begs you not to leave, ignore her. If she doesn't, then asks you to come back later on, don't go back. She ain't worth it anymore

This is an easy one..  just leave her and get divorce bro.. she will be revengeful during the divorce process.. so get ready.  Good luck!

Keep in mind that when you become elderly you will need assisted living. Will you trust this vengeful woman to not abuse you when you are no longer able to fend for yourself? 

Sounds like an amazing plan. Keep updating this I want to know what she does when she finds out. You deserve better my friend. Don't worry someone is out there waiting for you. Oh man I can't wait!

sorry for the confusion. I got my days mixed up. I've since called the dr to get tested and I'm going in tomorrow. Very embarrassing because he's been my primary for ever.  So she's at work and has most of her luggage packed.  I snoop and find that she packed some very sexy lingerie, stuff I've not seen. Carefully I took it out and replaced it with my old boxers. When she sees the boxers and pulls them out, my wedding band will be in them. I think she will get the hint.  I'm sure she will call me but I'm shutting off my cell. When she tries to make any purchases she will be denied. She won't be able to get me off of her mind. Every time they go out she'll need to borrow money and that will grow on her. My plan is set. I'm trying to stay calm as to not give her any clue of what I'm about to do. In my eyes all she is now is a mother to my kids and nothing more. The crap I've taken from her, the verbal abuse, emotionally I'm spent. She's always been somewhat of a bully I was just blinded to it. I want to thank you for replying and offering suggestions and advice. My family attorney is actually drawing up papers and I'm changing my will. Everything goes to the kids. She has some money in her account but our joint account and my account are frozen. I withdrew our joint cash and placed it in a safe deposit box in my bank. I was ni king of packing her stuff while she's away but nah. I'm not gonna waste any more time on her than I have to. The idea of revenge seems sweet but it's not me. I feel that what's about to happen to her will be enough. I'm also ready to confront my buddy, the womanizer to see if in fact they've hooked up. My knowing that these women are plan6ning on meeting other guys down there prompts me to inform the other husbands. I think I'm going to copy these posts and invite them over for a beer and let them read these themselves. The girls leave tomorrow, should I invite the guys soon? Tonight? Perhaps we meet out at a local pub or restaurant.  What do you think?? 

Meeting is set for tonight at Ruby Tuesdays.  All but one is going to show up.  We are not all good friends but good enough. We do stuff together so us getting together does not send red flags up. Let's see what happens. I'm just sipping a beer waiting for 7pm to roll around.  Wish me luck. 

So how did ur wife react? Did the plan work?  Keep updating the suspense is killing me

Well she's absolutely pissed.  The other husbands are also pissed, some in disbelief but these threads are making sense to all of us.  The one guy who didn't come to meet us was contacted by his wife with and that supposedly didn't end well. I explained to my soon to be ex that her stuff will be waiting out front.  Since she's been trying like hell to contact me. I'm very happy that her vacation is ruined and she ruined a huge part of my life.  What the other guys do is totally their business and I just wanted them to know what the girls were up to. I doubt we will ever get the entire true story but at this point I'm not really interested in hearing her.  I don't know how long a divorce takes in NJ but I hope with her infidelity the papers get filed quick and I get out as fast as possible.  They have a few days now to come up with a story and I'm sure they'll make it seem true and honest but I know better.  The emotions going through me are unbelievable. The pain, the anger and now the hate. 

It's Sunday morning and she has been trying to text, Clara, pm me every way she can. She's been talking to me kids, trying to get them to believe her.  They're smart kids and very perceptive. She's contacted a few mutual friends who have since called me to talk. I don't want anyone else involved. My old buddy is avoiding me like the plague and he will get his... Her clothing from her dressers is all stuffed into some old luggage and a few boxes in out foyer as its raining and I cant put it out in the rain. I have no idea what she's doing for money and yes, she's still in florida.  The last few days for me have been pure misery. It's so easy to sound like I'm fine but I'm a mess. Not sleeping right and not really eating. Kids are stronger than I thought they'd be. That's a good sign.  So damn mad, frustrated, confused, enraged and sad all at the same time not going in to work tomorrow because I'm meeting my attorney. He'll have some answers for me.  I really need guidance here. 

Guest, thanks for the advice.  I've taken it to heart. I did want to confront my ex buddy but as you said it's just going to be a sh$t show there.  I've been looking at her fb posts and pictures and in almost every photo there is the same guy. Different places in the keys, different time and he's wearing different clothing. I think this is her boo.  It's not evidence but for me it's pretty much the last nail in her coffin. I'm guessing my kids are in contact with her and she knows what's going on and simply does not care.  I gotta say this is completely killing me inside.  I have spoken to the kids but have not asked the,mid they knew. That would bring them into this mess and I won't do that to them. I believe that they will want to stay with me but it's gotta be their call. 

Shes been down there since Thursday and coming back Tuesday midnight.  I not looking forward to that encounter. Not at all.  Most of my ducks are lined up. I was advised not to go selling my home to my brother and just to relax a bit, take a few deep breaths etc.  with out question this is the most emotionally draining and damaging thing a man could eatxperience. I've been loyal to that woman, completely and after the way I feel now I know that I would never want to put another person through this.  I'm a grown man, a very masculine and alpha man but I just want to cry...??? It's gone from disbelief to hate, anger, rage, resentment, and now it's just sad.  I have really no one to talk to about this. I need to be strong for my kids, can't allow my bro or his family see me break down.  Jesus. This is so hard...at 54 can I start over?  I don't know. I get the overwhelming sense that my importance has gone from very high to non existent. Many things are going through my head right now.  

Guest, thank you. I really needed to hear that. As far as starting over, I just don't know if I have the energy or desire to go through that again. Is there another woman out there for me? I don't even want to think about that right now. But I do hear you loud and clear. The anxiety is starting to subside but the pounding inside my chest is cause for concern. I'm going to see my GP to explain that I may need some mess to relax. I had to fight not to turn to alcohol as. Need a clear head and especially for my kids. I have to be strong. Her parents are privileged to this info and I think she will be staying there upon her return. I don't want revenge or to make her suffer...I just want her to go away. Funny how next weekend is Mother's Day.  I wonder how many men will bring her flowers. She is still the mother to my kids so if they plan something for her that's fine, but I want no part of it. My attorney says I really need to talk to her and she needs to talk too. I asked if he would let us meet at his office and he could moderate and help keep it civil and he agreed.  He has worked over the weekend on drawing up papers and we will need to go before a judge but she has to admit to adultry for this to go quickly. With the evidence I have and her laptop with correspondence I think it's a done deal. She will have little choice 

Just home from the dr's office and feeling a little better.  I'm actually enjoying hearing from you. I would like to know something about you if you don't mind me asking.  Are you male or female? What is your age (generally if woman I'm sorry to ask. Lol) and profession?  You are very intuitive and have really offered me a huge shoulder to lean on and learn from. I enjoy how you interpret and break down what I'm going thru. Just writing here brings me some comfort.  Knowing and anticipating words of wisdom or advice and encouragement. Two of the other husbands are meting me tonight to discuss this whole mess. We want to compare notes to try and figure when this all really started. The girls are almost inseparable. Interchangeable except my wife. Great looking, great figure, great cook but personality has gone by the wayside. Never in the past has any of us thought that there was something going on. I believe the guy in the pics may have flown down with them only because his skin is not tan at all.  If her were a native of fla he'd be a little dark. So this trip may have completely been prearranged with others meeting up with our wives. How mush does this suck? Imagine if us 5 men were to schedule an annual rendezvous with other women to fly down and meet us for a week of fun and sex? No strings attached? Well as far as I can tell there are emotions between them. My lawyers guy still has her laptop and just now I'm wondering if it's picking up her emails to him or if she's just texting or calling. Cell records are being taken too. We will have call numbers, quantity, actual time of day and how often. I'm still amazed at how they kept this a secret for so long. When I was joking asking about the guys they're meeting only one girl (Karen) made a comment. The rest grew very still and silent. I just pretended to brush it off but that in and of itself had me become Sherlock Holmes.  I think the husbands should ask their wives to be upfront and honest and I'd bet Karen cracks. Very sweet girl but weak that way. None will ever be associating with me or the people in my circle. If these guys accept their wives back I will need to disassociate with them.  

Getting back to an earlier comment I thought you were suggesting me throwing my hat back in the dating arena. It's starting to make perfect sense to me but it'll be a while.  Has to be after the divorce is settled.  I never thought I would hate my wife. But I do. For what she has done to me.  Gotta go.  Stuff to do. Thanks buddy. She has stopped bombing my cell so I guess shes getting the hint. 

 I've been following this since the original posting, checking often for updates. I am rooting for you. Be sure to stand your ground, don't believe a word she say unless she has proof. What do your kids have to say? Do they have your back?

Not saying you had the option, but if I were in this situation, I would have followed her ass down to Florida. Try to get proof.

Nonetheless, I'm praying for you, waiting for her to get her just desserts. Keep your chin up.

Today is Thursday and I've been going through an array of emotions.  My lawyer has all the paperwork and evidence of her adultry in line. There was apparently a few men in her life besides me. Her laptop was full or her correspondence. After meeting with my attorney and his associate (the guy who was able to locate the correspondence in her laptop) it's absolutely a done deal.  She knows that we have everything and asked my attorney to keep the names of her male friends private.  By no means are we subject to her desires.  As it turns out she was not taking as good of care of my children as I thought.  Apparently she has been cheating on me for years. She's bragged to her boyfriends about how oblivious I've been.  I chalked it up to absolute trust. She had been dropping the kids off at her mothers house over the years and she even talked about how her mother knew and disapproved but loved seeing the kids.  Isn't that nice...she couldn't even give me a heads up about my adulterous wife...

Now I'm completely numb.  I can never share this info with my kids because it could really hurt their relationship with the nonna.  I'm mad at her but she was in a bad position. As far as my soon to be ex's boyfriends I think I will make sufficient copies of their individual correspondence and confront them.  I may contact their wives as well so they know what pieces of garbage they've been with.  I'm a big boy and I'm not worried about embarrassment.  I'll deal with that as it comes.  The STBX has been doing everything she can to get me to sit down and talk this out. From my perspective there is nothing to discuss except her total and absolute surrender.  I want nothing from her but also want to give her nothing. House, camper, boat, autos, and especially the kids. They'll be off to school soon and need a stable environment. She's been staying at her moms house and that's probably where she'll stay.  Our town is a small one and word will spread like wild fire. She will most likely have to relocate. With her lousy attitude and mean disposition she won't find it easy.  But that's not my problem anymore.  Hopefully this will run its course, it may get complicated but according to my lawyer it's pretty much an open and shut case. My biggest pain comes from what I've read in her emails.  It's such a shame that our entire relationship was a lie. What and who I thought she was is not who she is. I find some comfort sharing my experiences here and thank you all for words of encouragement.  I also appreciate that no one was dropping the bomb on her.  My advice to anyone out there who has a gut feeling to act on it. Be sure you have open communication, don't be a door mat. I was and I think I was not enough of a challenge to her because I made it easy. I always thought I was in a good relationship/marriage. Pay close attention and for me personally I will never give a woman my total and complete trust.  She took that from me.  I am currently in counseling, well it starts next Monday.  I will not be in contact with my mother in law as she was an enabler to her daughter.   As far as my kids, I will not try to sway them in any direction. They're very perceptive and adult enough to make their own decisions. Time will tell, time will heal. To use a sports analogy, I'm rounding third base and the coach is waving me in. Once I cross home plate the game is over and I'll move on. Again. Thank you all. You were a huge help for me in many ways. 

George

Any updates?

ok. Latest update. Sorry it took so long but much has been happening. I kicked her to the curb.  My kids didn't need to take sides but they chose me.  She's a mess.  I made sure everyone knew what was going on. I sent copies of her correspondence with him to her family, my family, her place of employment and many of our closest friends. She's been basically cut off at the knees.  I don't care where she is or what happens to her for that matter. It seems like she was just using me as a "means" for her economically.  Due tomorrow maher reactions I had put a restraining order on her so she can't be anywhere near me, my home or work.  From what I've heard no one wants anything to do with her.  Seems that she's been flirts no with a lot of our friends husbands all along so the wives are done with her as well.  I can say this, I'll never fall for a woman like I did with her ever again.  

To Same boat,

Leave her. She has been lying to you for the last 2 years there is no way you can trust her again so your relationship is ruined. Her cheating is a reflection of her character not yours so look up and try to live happily. There is someone better just waiting for you to arrive. Good luck. 

I would really like an update on this post. What's been going on lately