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Surprise GNO

My wife cheated on me

Thursday, August 25, 2016 8:09 AM by Geo Rating: +61|-13

My wife and I have been married a long time, 29 years.  We've had our ups and down but I've never strayed and don't believe she has.  But recently I'm getting a gut feeling.  She comes home and informed me that her friends daughter has 2 extra tickets to a band that I really like. I'm excited,mother she proceeds to tell me she is going with someone else.  After we talked a bit I could sense that she didn't want me to get a ticket and join them.  After a few days the concert is coming up, today is Thursday and the concert is tomorrow, she now says that afterwards she is going to Atlantic City after the concert and staying the night. Now my senses are tingling. She has never done this before and even with me she always wanted to come right home.  So as I'm still asking about her girlfriend and her staying in AC she kind of shy away from the  topic. I figure I'll let it go. Now she is 52, looks 35. She's very attractive and in great shape. The next day she's off to work and I noticed in my email (we share an account) a recipt for a suite she booked in AC. I decide to call and ask her why she and her girlfriend needed a suite and why we are paying for the room and she isn't splitting the cost. Well I call and the secretary says a man came to pick her up for the concert.  I'm guessing an uber was called but why from work and not from home.  So now  I decide to call her girlfriend Karen.  I get her at her work and has no idea what I'm talking about.  No idea about a concert, tickets or AC.  Oh boy. I'm going nuts now wondering what the hell is going on. I tried with no success to call and text my goes right to voicemail. Her car is at her work and I have no idea who she's with, where she's going now.  I decide to get back on the computer and look for anything. I find nothing. No contact with anyone that sends up a red flag.  I go back to the recipt. I get the number of the hotel and call.  The room is reserved for Mr and Mrs.####. Our name.  My next question is, "has my wife checked in?"  No, not yet. So I get some things in order and drive down to the hotel. I go to the desk and she checked in only a few minutes ago, I show my id and he gives me a courtesy key to enter the room. I go up and to the door, open it up and there they are.  Both sitting on a couch, luggage on the floor.  They were ready to pour a glass of wine.  Both look at me in disbelief and he grabbed his stuff and headed for the door. I didn't know him, didn't care about him. My focus was on my wife and her about to cheat. She starts to cry, I dropped the key on her lap and inform her that she's gonna need this key for her next boyfriend.  I looked her in the eye and said your done. A few more curse words followed but you get the picture.  I turn and leave. On my way to the car my cell is buzzing.  I didn't answer. I'm get home and she left a message on our land line about how I got it all wrong and it isn't what it looks like. Now she wants the come home and talk.  My question to you all is what else could this have been?  I'm totally lost for what to do next. If she hasn't cheated yet she absolutely was about to. Please share your thoughts as to where I should go from here. We've been together so long. I'm lost...

Tags: Daughter; Hotel;

Thank you for voting.


Friday, August 26, 2016 11:03 AM
I think I'm funny

I suppose that you look her in the eye and ask her if she loves you... you will know what to do from then... goodluck im sorry but only you can choose how this turns out... 

Friday, August 26, 2016 11:16 AM

I think if you not show up the other guy would have fucked your wife, and she would be the whore she wants to be.  I would bet she has already gave him a blow job

Friday, August 26, 2016 11:27 AM

This is such a hard one to advise and it is true that only you can decide but look ks like she has made her decision. 

I guess a lot of what ifs are buzzing in your head like what if I never found out or even looked into this would she have told me or not?  Tbh I think you have done a good thing to walk away if she had it in her heart to do this whose knows if this was even the first time 

Friday, August 26, 2016 1:35 PM

First off dude, Good Deadpool!  You played this one smart.  You followed your gut and got to the truth real quick.  The first red flag was when she said she wanted to attend a concert with someone other than you, and didn't want you to buy your own ticket.  The rest just fell into line.  I truly doubt that was the first time she has been with OM considering the level of planning she went through.  You now know that a women you have loved and respected for 29 years is ready to drop her panties for another man.  She probably met up again with the guy again when you didn't answer your phone.  You have some difficult choices ahead of you.  But whatever you do, always make yourself your #1 priority; make sure to take care of you.  You and your wife will talk eventually, but know she's going to lie her butt off before she comes clean, if at all.  You may decide you want to try to stay with your wife, but DO NOT give trust easily.  On a side note, this fallout is going to affect her relationship with her friend as well.  I'm sure she's going to quite thrilled to learn that her name was bandied about to cover your wife's affair.

Friday, August 26, 2016 2:19 PM

I would like an update after the convo you have with your future ex wife or will you stay.

Friday, August 26, 2016 5:13 PM

Your wife had no problem to lie in your face. Also use your name to book a hotel room, and making you pay for it.  If it's not what you think, then what is it?  I would move on. Trust has been broken. Plus your gut instinct told you something was wrong. You are doing what's right. After 29 years, if your wife was unsatisfied, she should came to you and talk. 

Friday, August 26, 2016 6:53 PM

Ok update. She came home looking like a wreck. She walked in with a " leave me alone attitude"  I asked what the hell she is doing here. She tries to tell me that's it not what I think. I stopped her dead in her tracks and said, " that's not the issue, what are you doing HERE? then said GET THE F&#$ OUT!  She thought that at this point I was gonna grill her, yell, ask for explanation bur nope. I had time to think and I'm too old to forgive and rebuild. I know I'll never trust her again, ever.  I also know that my life will be like living innfear, anger, rage and it will be miserable. My kids are up and out so they will be Ok. I went and informed her family of her deeds and that we are done. Her dad understands, mom not so much but it's my decision. So she like this house is mine too...I had to explain that she volunterily gave up everything to be with her boyfriend and that now she is his problem. I unformed her that her family knows and she went off. I just stood there. She belittled me in every way she could. Then she says aren't you gonna say anything!?  I took out my cell and asked if she would like me to play her rant back to her..she did confess to the affair and I have it. I calmly told her that I packed some stuff and she needs to get out, that nothing she has to say to me means anything. I'm 54 years old and worked very hard to provide her and my family with a comfortable life. I was very good to her. I guess she was not content with me. I get that people fall out of love but to do this?  It's unforgivable. I called her sister to come get her. Her sister showed up and I met her at the door. My soon to be ex was gathering her shit. I asked her sister if she knew and she said yes. My jaw dropped. I said to her why didn't you try to get her to stop or tell me. She did try to stop her but she had her mind made up. So do i...especially after learning this. Sister asked me not to hate her. I dont, they are sisters and I get that shit. But damn. Who else knows? All the people at her work perhaps?  Well I guess it makes no difference now. Her dad called and asked how I was. He's a good man. Too bad his daughter is such a whore. She left with her sister and I handed her my band on the way out. She just threw it at me. Some balls. This pos is giving me attitude. It's late now, about 10 pm. I'm gonna make a few calls and find out who lover boy is. I'm gonna have a little talk with him. Nothing physical, just some info. Stuff my lawyer can use. Her confession and rant are quite revealing.  I'm gonna play it for him when I find him. I'm also thinking about calling her boss after hours and play it into his recorder.  If this guy is a coworker perhaps hr would be interested in workplace affairs and possible lawsuit.  I'll update in a few days. What a fu#$ing mess. I'm acting like it's not bothering me but I'm completely broken. 

Friday, August 26, 2016 7:17 PM

Get yourself a lawyer and get advice so that she does not burn you in court. Everything that she says is bullshit babe us a liar. You happened to be lucky that say and stopped her short from fucking some guy. What about the other time? You weren't lucky and you won't be the next time. 

Friday, August 26, 2016 8:49 PM

Good. For. You!

Friday, August 26, 2016 10:24 PM

Way to go Geo!

Friday, August 26, 2016 11:18 PM

Good luck and God bless. You don't deserve a person like that in your life. After all that time, and she treated you like that? What a bitch. 

Saturday, August 27, 2016 12:05 AM

You are doing the right thing dude.  She had no intention of talking.  As I said earlier, she was expecting you to listen to her lie her butt off.  You caught her for a loop when you just stood there saying nothing.  And that little rant of hers should tell you how she truly feels about you.  I know it sucks to be in that position, but you need to carry on and keep on taking care of yourself.  Let loverboy worry about your soon-to-be-ex.  To look on the brighter side, your 29 year lie is coming to an end you have a chance to start fresh.  I'm 54 also, and I can tell you that it's never too late to find true love and happiness.

Saturday, August 27, 2016 2:07 AM


Saturday, August 27, 2016 4:12 AM

First, this wasn't the first time. She has been cheating on you for a while. You do not just start cheating with a concert and a trip to AC. Second, I am sorry but she does not love you, she does not even respect you. In fact she doesn't give a shit about you. Third, she may pretend she wants to stay with you for appearances sake, she may even really want to stay with you - in order to maintain her lifestyle (money) - don't make that mistake, don't let her fool you again, she is just using you. Wipe the slate clean. She has done you a favor. Now you can find a decent woman that you can relate to. By now you have enough life experience to know what kind if woman will be good for you. Cheating sluts are not good for anyone, period. 

Saturday, August 27, 2016 4:19 AM

Great update! To be sure you will have tough times ahead for a little while. Then things will calm down and you will be happier than you can imagine. Under the best circumstances marriage takes effort. Effort that you will be able to put into other areas of your life. It also take compromise, now you are financially secure and free of the traitor, you don't have to compromise. For fun, make up a power point of a video of your cheating wife's actions and words, be creative and share it will all who know her or may come in contact with her. Help to give her the excitement she was looking for!


Saturday, August 27, 2016 8:36 AM
New start

   As hard as it is you made the right decision. There wasn't  anything  you could've  done. She was going to do it regardless. If there was a problem  in your marriage  she could've  just talked  but there wasn't  she was just an old horny  goat. Now lost everything  including  her children's  respect. Go enjoy life. More update please.

Saturday, August 27, 2016 9:32 AM

Looks to me like your ex was cheating and totally comfortable doing it--until she got caught. It's funny how she went from tears to insulting you. 

Saturday, August 27, 2016 10:11 AM

Well that's what all cheaters do. Believe it or not cheaters go thru more mixed emotions then the one who was cheated on. The cheated os mad at the cheater and the cheater is mad at themselves. Either for being caught or for being stupid. I'm 65 year old man and my wife had an affair when we were 49 I was 50. And I did the EXACT same thing as the guy in the post. To old to trust and rebuild. She did the same to me. She went into tears then she started insulting. We divorced and I've moved on basically only messing around with sugar babies. We go on trips and all around the world. I take them shopping and everything. All the money I had saved up for me and my wife for when the kids moved out. For the past 15 years i haven't meseed around with any women older then 35. For the past 15 years she's been trying to get me back and reconcile. She's noticed that men have no intentions of being responsible for a woman that old. She no longer had the energy to keep up with a new relationship. What a lot of people don't understand about cheating is there is no responsibility towards one another which makes cheating seem fun and easy. Once I divorced my wife she tried to move in with the guy and make things work but the guy actually told her she was to old to have an actual relationship with and she's tried dating but men just refuse to take her all in. She's been living with her sister for 10 years. So to geo understand that your wife is stunned that you don't care and you need to keep that same attitude. You have done your part for the past 29 years. You've raised your children and got them out of the house. Give yourself all the credit for providing for your family. As for you you are 54 years young and you still have a lot of life left. Start doing more with your hobbies and understand that all the money is yours. You owe your wife nothing. Take all that money and go live the next 30 years for you. Travel, meet people. Don't know if you like to fish and stuff like that but go do more of that. With in a year will forget that you were even married. Women don't know what they have until it's gone. And your gone

Saturday, August 27, 2016 11:14 AM

Okay now I decided to be single ! 

Sunday, August 28, 2016 6:44 PM

I want an update this is so exciting. You are a fucking badass.

Sunday, August 28, 2016 7:19 PM

Not a real update but I took a few days off to clear my head. 29 years is a lot to throw away. Don't get me wrong, it over. She chose to destroy our marriage but man does it ever hurt. Knowing what I know, seeing her in AC with him in a room ready to cheat. It's by far the most difficult thing I ever went through. I'm away in NC. Gotta get my mind on the right track. To hell with her and I will ruin him for doing this to me and my girls. My lawyer is handling this like a genius. But yes, it hurts. I will rebound, I will be okay. But the pain will be there. When I get home and answer her calls I will update. If any other guys went thru this, even women for that matter, tell me what you did..I'm looking for any guidence

Sunday, August 28, 2016 9:52 PM

Good luck man and yes it will hurt but you are better off in the long run. Now you can meet someone again who will love you more than she did. I used to live by Wilmington NC I don't know how close you are to that area. If I were you I would use all the money that you saved for her and go to a world wide trip after divorce. Good luck and keep updating.

Sunday, August 28, 2016 11:13 PM


You will hurt for awhile. There is no getting around it. It's like someone tore your heart out and left you for dead. Remember your girls, if they are around your family (Parents, siblings), and your friends. They will be your support. My kids and family helped me through the tough times when I caught my ex cheating. My mother helped me by bringing a pastor to me to talk about myself and my relationship to God and everyone around me. The pastor helped me focus what's important in life and that I didn't make my ex cheat, she made that decision on her own. I don't want someone to stay with me if they feel obligated to. I want someone to stay with me because she loves me.  That's what helped me get through my darkest times.

Don't try to do this on your own.  Get IC.  Go out and experience new things in life. Find something in life that will help center yourself. Some use God like myself, others meditate, etc.  Also keep telling yourself it's not your fault, it's your WW's. It will be a long journey to recover and feel normal, but you will. Eventually it will feel a weight is off your shoulders. Stay strong. 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 12:47 AM

When I went through this my Dad said to me "if you don't learn to forgive her, not get back together, but forgive her. You will end up being a bitter twisted old man" I would say the same to you! I'm not saying you should get back together that's between the two of you. At some point, maybe not yet because it sounds very raw, you will,need to find a way to forgive her. Because if you don't you will,carry this pain around for the rest of your life.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 12:15 PM

Be prepared. She will beg to come back. 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 3:24 PM

I agree with guest above. She's gonna beg for forgiveness and to take her back. If I'm wrong I'd be shocked. But I would like an update to know your ok. I'm so sorry about your situation. I believeyou were a hard working loving husband and father and you didn't deserve this. BUT I believe you said you have daughters? Well as long as you have them you will always have women who love you, respect you and won't do anything to disappoint you. But yes update us and let us know your ok

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 7:46 PM

I don't think the WW wife will do it now.  She is in the affair fog.  Might be in a couple months later when the fog wears off and reality sets in.  OM will deal with her and just used her.  Plus its very disturbing that the WW confided her sister about this.  The WW was stringing her husband along until she was ready to move on.  If it was a fling and nothing serious, WW would have kept it a secret. Geo just stay strong, remember your daughters, and you will heal. Emotional and physical injury are the same.  It takes time and proper treatment.  Talk to a counseler, get out and experience the world.  Eventually that injury in your heart will heal. It will leave a scar, but it will be a small one if you get yourself the proper support and help.  Don't let this fester or else it will cause you serious damage.  

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 9:14 PM

A whole lot of planning and deceit for nothing going on.  It is what it looks like.

Thursday, September 1, 2016 12:44 AM

Geo, you are the man. The inspiration to all of us out here. Love to hear a story of someone actually sticking up for themselves. Don't ever back down from your position. You did the exact right thing. The only thing I would have done different is I would have told him you took her now you have to keep her, she is your cheating problem now. I would have made sure that the wife would have heard it.

Thursday, September 1, 2016 6:48 PM

Thursday update. I returned home and she wanted nothing more than to talk, she wanted me to hear her out.  So we met at my house and made her knock to come in.  She wanted to embrace but I simply held my arm out and wouldn't let her in my space.  We walked into the kitchen and sat. She tried to justify, cast blame on me partially and take the pressure off of herself. She cried and told me she loved me.  I was like you love me?  Is that why you set this plan in motion?  Because you love me? Damn..  All I had for her was pity. I looked in her eyes and didn't see the love of my life, not the woman I wanted to grow old with.  I saw a liar, a cheat, a whore. Where was the love of my fast this all happened. I didn't even see the mother of my children. She looked a awful and I was actually happy she was in pain. I did have a few things to say. I asked if this "fling" was worth everything we've worked for together for over 30 years, to sacrifice every aspect of our lives for such a selfish act....she just balled. I lifted her head, looked her in the eyes and asked her to leave. She then turned on me, cursing calling me names etc. I just kept my cool and said "why didn't I cheat on you?" How dare you blame any of this on me?  You took time to deliberately set this up, lie after lie, you met this guy for sex.  You ruined what we had. Of course I wasn't that cool and calm. I cursed too.  I'm no saint but I'm a good man. I treated her well, did more for her than most men do for their wives. And for what?  Maybe she wanted more excitement...well. She has excitement now. She needs to rebuild her life. After we both calmed down a bit I did tell her that any further contact will be in the presence of my attorney and she needs to get her own.  I suggested that she not text or call. She will have to make arrangements to get the remaining articles she owns from my home. I will be okay, my girls are in pain but they are tough girls.  We will get through this. I am not sure what the future holds for me but I can assure you that she will not be a part of it.  I really didn't see my wife when she was here. I saw a stranger.  Surreal.  I'm kind of numb, I am making a very conscious effort to stay away from alcohol for a while as it may haze my focus.  I appreciate all your input and advice in this and man was it helpful to vent in such a forum. One suggested that I forgive her. In time perhaps but to be told that so soon after this all came out was, well, not very welcomed by me.  I think the storm has passed, but know the legal aspect , may take some time but that's not so troubling.  My personal emotions were all over the place now they have really calmed down. I've been sleeping okay, and taking it day by day. I do stay in constant contact with my girls. They're all I really have and are my focus now. I don't know if I'll update again unless some crazy stuff takes place.  Wow, what a mess.  Again thank you all. 


Thursday, September 1, 2016 8:54 PM

Nice hearing from you GEO.  I'm glad you are ok.  I just don't understand why people would betray their loved one when they have so much to lose.  All for the name of being unhappy, needing excitement, or don't love the SO anymore.  Why the deceit and bad feelings when you just can talk it out with your SO. People who do that have no conscience.  

Saturday, September 3, 2016 4:40 AM

i am so sorry you had to go through this, Geo. I have been married for 23 years and I am on the cusp of the same experience. My wife and I saw a counselor for a year or so last year. We were trying to come back together as a family after our only child went through a life-threatening eating disorder. Our daughter is healed now and the couselor sent us off with great hope. We were doing great as a couple.

Then, my wife decided she wanted to be a ski patrol volunteer. She dove into it. Lost a ton of weight, gained great self-confidence. I was extremely supportive despite all the time she was spending away. She started taking about this guy that was so wise and wonderful to be around, she wanted me to meet him. I said sure. I am so naive. I was so happy for her. 

Before I had a chance to meet him, this past April, my wife was late coming home from ski patrol. We have phones that I can tell where she is. She was at a nearby park. It was night and I drove there. I see her van and another car parked in front. I drive by and see her in the car with another guy. Very close.

I go home and she meets me. Says it was nothing. I disagree. She denies all. We go back to counselor. He advises her that it was not nothing and that if she wants the marriage to work, she needs to stop contact with him. She agrees.

The summer was spent with her finding every reason to not spend time with me. She did outdoor activities that she never did before. When she was home, she would play music on her phone for hours at full volume singing the whole time. Her libido was, and is, through the roof and she masterbates at least once a day-loudly. She is combative and defensive. She hasn't had more than 3-4 hours sleep in 6 months. When I talk to her about hormonal symptoms of peri menopause, she just gets mad.

So here we are. It is the Saturday of Labor Day. She suddenly told me yesterday that she is going to stay and friends Emory house for the whole weekend. She reiterated to our therapist just Thursday that she would never cheat on me. That Thursday night she called her male friend from the parked car. She was down in the basement. I heard her climax loudly while he was texting her. She doesn't know that I know of any of her recent contacts with him. She is leaving this morning to "be by herself" at friend's house. Again, friend is not there. House is empty. I am devastated by her lies.




Saturday, September 3, 2016 6:39 AM

To the guest above:

Be like our man Geo here, bust her ass and kick her to the curb.  Then get another one that looks just like her.

Saturday, September 3, 2016 6:57 AM

Thanks, ALF. She's as mean as a snake. She knows that fidelity and integrity are hugely important to me. I have never been unfaithful and have always been there for her. She says she loves me, said it just now as she was walking out the door, and then hurts me like this. Wow.

Saturday, September 3, 2016 4:39 PM

I'm only saying polite words about this. 

Guck that two timing slime stinky cunt. She gas as lead fucked him slresdy. If a woman gets a hotel room it's beca use she knows the cocktail is worth it. Tell the stank hoe to hit the fucking road. I'm sorry for making this so polite. I could have been harsh


Sunday, September 4, 2016 1:57 AM

You're Awesome geo. 

Monday, September 5, 2016 1:11 AM

No matter the ending, I would still want  to talk to her and hear why this happened. I was able to get that out of my x...I learned from what she said.

Thursday, September 8, 2016 7:04 PM


I really hurt for you because your wife is not like most of the cheater here, but that kinda makes it worse.  I think I would be most hurt by the fact that she went through so much planning, and was stupid enough to leave loose ends like the girlfriend and the emailed receipt.  It is almost like she wanted you to find out.  She wanted to get caught, but why?  Was she to big of a coward to ask for a divorce?  She obviously wanted to get busted!  Reading your words, I am sure you made the right decision to leave her.  You would have never forgiven her had you stayed.  Once you get your footing and recover, you will heal, forgive and prosper in your new life.



Sunday, September 11, 2016 5:33 PM


If we were to gather 100 level headed people, the vast consensus would be that your wife's declaration that she was going to a concert in another city with another person for a concert and did not want you to purchase an extra ticket, as the most obvious and blatant lie of all time. No person, man or woman, in his/her right mind (like her sister) would ever try to come up with such a ludicrous story and expect to be bought by his/her spouse. Your soon to be ex-wife's behavior reeks of a possible personality disorder. You are definitely better off without her.

Saturday, September 17, 2016 8:52 PM

All the bullshit aside, she can come up with any story she wants to. You gave her the time to come up with that story in you storming out. Why did the guy rush out? Think about it, she will come up with a story because you never bothered to put her on the spot. If she's smart, she will come up with a good one too.

Truth is, your wife likely cheated on you before. It is generally highly unlikely that someone cheats the very first time in a suite. They celebrate in a suite under those conditions. That's not the first time. Besides, at this point, why should you believe anything that comes out of her mouth?

I know this will hurt, but the truth is it's over. Time to move on. And given the length of your marriage, this won't be easy at all. But it's over.

Sunday, April 3, 2022 3:52 PM
My friend it's plain as day! Your wife was going to CHEAT ON YOU!! What you need to do is this. That she needs to Explain in detail A good enough explanation from the minute she got the tickets to when you walk in on her and this guy while they were both having a glass of wine. A timeline! If she tells the truth then it shouldn't be hard to just tell, it should easily come right out if she is telling the truth! Let her tell you. However she tries to spin it she's FULL OF SHIT!!!

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