Im 24 years old and I have been married for just over a month, my husband and I have had sex twice in that time and about a month before being married we barely looked at each other nevermind be intimate with one another and being newlyweds I don't think it's very healthy.
heres my situation,
we used to work together and now I've moved jobs because I wasn't happy there anymore, we still work the same shifts and we do see each other fairly regularly but the conversations, intimacy and basic human contact have deteriorated to nothing. He barely talks to me and when he does it's the same things over and over again, I've tried to talk to him about everything but his focus is on the tv mostly and nodding every now and then.
recently, I had went to a friends/coworkers/neighbours house to get drunk, this lasted for 12 hours, I messaged my husband straight away telling him that I am just across the road if he needed me. He messaged me back and said it was okay and that he's away to work. Before he left for work I remember going to my house and saying goodbye to him before he left, he was happy I was having fun and not stressing out as usual and he told me to say hello to the neighbour, kissed me goodbye and left and I returned to my neighbours house to continue drinking. Me and the friend were dancing in the living room, showing off tattoos and sharing stories, generally having a good time until he wanted to sleep on the kitchen floor (as you do..)
as my friend had passed out, I decided to have a nap in his bed, fully clothed, until he came through to wake me up. (It usually happens like this.)
i was awakened with my friend next to me, half naked from the bottom and he was trying to bring me closer to him to initiate sex, I immediately got up and returned to my home, shaking with rage. How could he do this? He knows I'm married! He knows my husband!
after a nap in my own bed I started thinking that it wasn't a bad thing at all, if anything it made me feel wanted, adored and loved.. He wanted to be closer to me and never has he done this before but I can't help but feel like I should have just done it to get this sexual frustration out of me.
Me and the friend still talk, I've told him what had happened and he called himself an idiot and told me to apologise to my husband for him, which I did. However, we have started making a joke out of it, winking at each other, general funny flirting and making plans to drink again. If we are to ever drink again alone I would probably sleep with him and judging by the way he looks at me recently he would do it too and I really want to. I've been fantasizing about him before I go to sleep so I can sleep with a smile on my face most nights. He's not my type at all and I'm not his but there's definitely something there.
should I drink with him again and possibly sleep with him or should I just keep trying with my husband to be continuously rejected? I'm lonely in a new marriage... This shouldn't have happened so soon, right? I need intimacy and love and I'm not getting it from the person I married. He's my best friend but sometimes that's all I think he is. Just a friend. Not a lover.