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Why did I do it twice?

I cheated on my boyfriend

Friday, April 22, 2016 8:47 AM by Guest Rating: +6|-6

So I've been in this relationship for over two years going on three in September. It's been kind of I don't know, I feel like this was a forced relationship. I fell pregnant 8 months after we started dating then engaged a week later.. Honestly I didn't want any of that. I'm 22 years old. I love my son though! I couldn't ask for a better child than my little guy. Anyway! So about a month ago I met this guy at the bar... He was new in town for sure! He's tall, handsome, chiseled and light skinned. It didn't even cross my mind that he would even be a little interested in me, because well he was just so hot! But I ignored him because he did look my way a few times.. End of the night came, everyone is outside the bar and he just happen to be standing next to me and introduced himself. He ended up tagging along with me and my two other friends.. We got to know each other a bit more, and also found out that he worked with my fiancée, anyway, I've always remained faithful to my fiancée, when he leaned in for a kiss I had to turn him away even though he was the hottest guy I've ever laid my eyes on. The night ended we walked half way home together.. I went home and he went home.. So about two weeks ago I met up with him again, we were both very drunk (not an excuse) and I was the one that ended up hitting on him. We were outside the bar alone and ended up taking off to his place, we had sex for about 3 hours before I finally went home. And let me tell you, it was the best sex I've had ever. His hands all over me, it was so hot and heavy. While as my fiancée, I would get lucky if he wanted to hold my hand, hence why I said I feel like we're forcing it. I hate to say it but I have been thinking about leaving him, but how? Idk. Anyway .. So I texted him the next day we both said how amazing it was.. And that we probably won't do it again.. And I was totally okay with that. But then we as we texted , I don't think we wanted love, I think it's more of a lust thing. Because I went to his place again... This time we were both sober and it was just as great and crazy as the first time.. We decided that was the last time because his girlfriend will be coming to town tomorrow.. I feel like someone is going to find out soon, so I've been mentally preparing myself for all the harsh words, all the rumours, the breakup.. I'm ready .. It's not like I can't take care of myself.. And it's not like I've never been alone before... I'd rather be alone. I'd rather take care of myself. Because my fiancée is a slob, lives off pop and junk food.. Never wants to go out for walks! He just wants to sit on the couch and do nothing. And I'm tired of living like this.. I want a fulfilling life, I don't want my son to think it's okay to sit on the couch and watch tv all day. We have sex maybe 2 times a month. I stopped trying because of how much rejection I've gotten in the past. We just are not on the same level of life together, it could be because he's older.. Not much, idk maybe he's just lazy. He also smokes pot, like I have no problem with pot because I smoke it too.. But he smokes it to the point every single day until he can't keep his eyes open..if I want to go out he bitches and moans because he has to take care of our son, even after work. I cook him lunch and supper, I do his laundry I do the dishes, I take out the garbage I clean up the garbage if an animal gets into it, I give up the "nagging" . I stopped asking him to do anything. I do everything a woman should do for her man, But he cannot even the slightest make me feel like a woman. 

Tags: Dating;

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Friday, April 22, 2016 4:05 PM

Looks like you have no reason to continue your relationship. Just make sure you leave it for the right reasons, not because you're expecting your fling to go anywhere..and you shouldn't see someone who is in a relationship. Do it for you. Your son deserves a happy mom, single or taken.

Friday, April 22, 2016 9:16 PM

Your boyfriend  sounds more like your second  kid. You cheated  which means you lost respect for him. Leave it's not worth it.

By the way it's a guy thing so sorry in advance . I HAVE TO DO IT.  OK here we go.

You nasty hoe! Cheating on your man while he's home taking care of your child.hope you catch an std.

OK now since that's over let me continue. You have to decide  what's important  in your life so you can move forward. Staying  in  a  loveless  relationship  will not help you or your kid. Let him play daddy while  you play mommy but don't stay. If you stay it will be a relationship  built on lies and deceit  and that's not how a relationship a in success. 


Saturday, April 23, 2016 11:03 AM

he is basically a man child.. I feel stuck, as stupid as it sounds.. And I'm totally not expecting for my little fling to go anywhere.. I'm just tired of being frustrated everyday.. Lol and as far as him taking care of our son, our son goes to grandmas on Saturdays, I don't go out every Saturday but I do at times, so he rarely every has our son alone. It's always me that takes care of both of them, I even pick out his stupid work clothes.. It's not worth staying I know.. I just don't know what to do.. I didn't catch an std btw lol, but thanks 

Saturday, April 23, 2016 10:49 PM

 I'm the guy who wrote the 2nd response.

    OK I understand  you aren't  sure what to do but sleeping  with this other guy is just dumb and selfish. I don't care how good he looks outside but inside he's an ugly troll. He has a girl and he's sleeping with you. Check this out. She might be cheating on him with a guy who has a girlfriend  and the girlfriend  is cheating  with someone  who has std. She comes back gives it to your fling and the fling gives it to you. Do get what I'm saying? Don't bring it  to your sons life. I had a girl who cheated on me with this guy  just because  he had money. According  to her he sucked in bed but he  payed for everything she wanted. She got herpes. I was called in the doctors office to be checked and I was lucky. Did not get inffected. 3 years later the dumb bitch is still trying  to  get back with me.  Are you understanding  what I'm trying to tell you? It's ok to be slutty as long as it's with your man.(well your future man not this kid)  Stop sleeping with a guy who is taken. He doesn't  respect  you nor care for you. 



Lol ok I'm good.

Monday, April 25, 2016 6:26 AM

So I think we're pretty close to separating .. He's still doing all the same shit, but now it's just getting worse. I'm still preparing myself .. I havnt done anything with the other guy.. Just know my son comes first in every which way. I feel like he's going to tell me to stay.. I think we're going to have a talk at lunch.. Because I'm tired of being shit on. Especially when I do everything for him.. I want to just tell him because this is killing me, because I've never thought cheating was the answer, and I've never cheated before because it's a very deceiving thing to do. It's something I've never done before until two weeks ago. I understand now though as to why people do it.. It would be different if I had no reason to look for affection from someone else. I just want him to realize what a great thing he had. In the beginning of our relationship we had problems right off the bat, he had a bad porn addiction. Like if you wanna watch porn that's cool by all means but just don't forget about me. I find that sexual contact is important to feel close to one another.. Not all the time but I mean more than once a month.. And it broke me, I use to have self esteem .. Now I'm insecure, I hate myself and the way I look.. I was never ever like that until I dated him. This sucks... I won't be cheating ever again because this is a bad feeling and I do deserve every little bit of it, because I know it's no ones fault but my own, if I could go back, I'd change it, but now I'm gunna have to live with it, so it is what it is. 

Sunday, May 1, 2016 12:23 AM

2nd response guy again

    Hope you can find peace within yourself. Everyone  makes mistakes  the key is to learn from them. The relationship  is toxic and seperation is better for the both of you. Now for the other issue ( this coming from a guy ) Porn is never healthy. I don't care what anyone says, porn can really screw up a person. Especially  a man. I made sure when I picked  a woman she will understand  the need I have like I understand  her needs.Not just sexually. I don't like my hand. They are too manly and rough. So I won't be playing  with my dick because I prefer a woman. I don't understand  the need to spent more time in porn then an actual women. Porn is what you do when your teen. So nooooooooooooo Tarzan think porn not good. Tarzan rather play with Jane.  

Friday, May 6, 2016 9:16 PM

The Tarzan thing is funny.. I feel so shitty .. He's so shitty for making me shitty.. So I tried to give him head the other night.. And he couldn't get hard.. And he said I did it like I was desperate.. I'm desperate for his affection.. Anyway the last time I had sex was with the guy I cheated on him with. I'm ready to hang myself.. How come I can't bring myself to leave him? I havnt felt this suicidal since I was 18.. And it breaks my heart to feel this way especially having a toddler.. And I love my little guy so much... How do I leave? He basically told me he owned me because there is a ring on my finger.. I can't say anything to him without it ending in a fight.. We don't see eye to eye anymore.. I wish I could just fall off the face of the earth.. I feel so ugly inside and out... I'd rather be alone than feel alone while with someone.. I thinks it's because he's passively nice.. He buys me scratch tickets and green tea.. Everything in this apartment is mine, from the tv-couch our bed to the dishes.. All our furniture is mine.. Oh yeah! Let us not forget his rediculous drug addiction (he quit when I got pregnant) bug it was so bad, he used needles and I never did. But for the 8 months of it I was there for him, during his sick days, his porn days.. Everything.. But it feels like it was such a big waste of time..  I'm sorry, I have no one to talk to about this.. My friends circle is very small.. And I can't talk to her because her boyfriend is his best friend .. He works, and he pays the bills.. His mother in law is crazy bi polar.. Neither of them want me to work.. Which I've been doing since I was 14.. I'm graduated highschool .. I can go to college or university if I wanted to.. But nope, here I am on the couch doing nothing for the past 5 hours. I get it, he pays the bills.. He doesn't think I can do it on my own , but what he forgets to realize is that he moved into my apartment with me so he didn't have to live in his mothers basement, I was 20 and he was 25.. I'm so pathetic he's pathetic.. I'm just ready to jump in front of a train.. 

Sunday, May 8, 2016 9:32 AM

     Stop and think. Your life is more important  now then ever. God blessed you with a baby and he made it your job to raise her right. I know depression  is hard to live with but you do matter in this world.  Him not getting an erections has nothing to do with you. It's porn. People still don't  believe  it but porn can really screw up a man's mind. He has porn induced  ed. You are not the problem  he is. You have to find the strength  to get up and leave him. As a man ( I'm 40 years old ) if a women who is fat and ugly kneels between my legs to suck on it. I wouldn't  have a problem  with my junk. He is way younger  then i am so he should not have had an issue. It's not you its him who can't get it up trust me. Don't blame yourself  for him not being man enough to satisfy  you.   Your trying and fighting  for your relationship  but it's not worth  it when your the only one fighting. If you need to talk especially  when you feel like you want to hurt yourself  email me at [email protected]  and I will respond  asap. Don't get discouraged. 



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