While in the middle of a deployment I get a email from my wife saying shes leaving and taking our daughter to Tx. It was a shock to me because I thought our marriage was healthy, our sex life was great, we have always loved eachother. Things started tumbling downhill from there. She got in a relationship with her ex boyfriend and brought him to our house in GA to help her pack her things. My mother and little sister were staying there and she threw them out with nowhere to go. The rest of deployment I was struggling to make sure my bills were getting paid, and I was planning on divorce. 

I get back from deployment, still not home yet. On an island in the middle of nowhere. I call my wife to see if she needed anything for our daughter and she broke down in tears. She said she was sorry for hurting me, she wants our family together. 

I decided I was going to try to give her another chance, even though I am haunted by the images in my head of them two together. The first thing I wanted her to do was to remove that guy from her life. I feel like if she really wanted things to work between us she would of done that herself, better yet not make it as difficult as it was. She was still calling/texting him after she said she was done with him. Now he is blocked from her phone/facebook. Deep down inside of me I feel like theres something else. 

She told me they only had sex once. She got "smoked out" or high you could say for her first time and she cant recall exactly what happened or if she dreamt it. After a couple of days and im still on this island she decides to tell me shes putting our daughter down to sleep and then getting drunk. I told her I was no comfortable with this but she did it anyway. Now I'm stuck here wondering what the fuck happened. I'm supposed to be seeing her in person in about 5 days when I fly back to GA. 

I am not sure what to do here. The way we used to be, our memories we share, is great. My daughter isn't even one yet, I want to be there for her. I want to make things work, but I dont know if I can. I also don't want to lose my daughter. I wouldn't try to take our daughter away from her, but I would atleast like joint custody if this goes south. She's telling me constantly right now that she is not good enough for me or our daughter, that she is a wreck and for me to take our daughter from her, while shes getting drunk underage (she's 20). Along with getting high, not financially stable. 

So my reasoning of wanting to stay with her is not that i'm afraid of losing my daughter. I feel like if it came down to it I could get joint atleast. But I want our family back together the way it used to be. I do hold her accountable for cheating on me. Along with that though, shes Bipolar and does not take medication and she has that post-pregnancy depression disorder thing. Hopefully if we can get past all this we can live our lives the way we always dreamed of. I just want some peoples opinions on what I should do. Please don't mention anything about swinging or having an affair with someone to get even. I'm not into either of those things. I just want whats best for me and my daughter.